Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
