There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
