that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
