Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
