Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So many bounce houses so little time
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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