umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
