before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
