God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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