Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
