Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
