you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
