I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
