Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
