You really coming over, don't trick.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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