a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
