he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
