I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
