If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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