we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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