sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
her vagine was all disorganized.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
