i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
