hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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