I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
