when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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