Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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