I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
