I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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