idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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