This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
