so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
