i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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