Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my being single is dangerous.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
