i love accidental penises.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
