did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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