Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
