In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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