home. puking in laundry basket.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't turn off my feet"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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