we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
