I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
