she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
