Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
