I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
