porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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