Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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