why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
