Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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