I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
