ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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