we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Who died my cat blue again?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
