A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
