i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
