i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have aggressive nipples.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
